OUCH
Though long done what I came to do, I waited in my stall til they had left, both to save their face and mine. But, by the time I had washed my hands, adjusted my big hair(bigger, always bigger), checked for eye gunk (all good), I walked out of that washroom feeling pretty much the same as I had when I went in. The reason? I have long ago come to the conclusion that your opinion of me is none of my business.
For much of my young life I was...compressed, I guess is the best word. A peacock born of wren parents, someone obviously slipped an egg into their nest. They were (God Bless Them) conservative, and quiet, and don't rock the boat type of people. I was friggin Judy Garland in "Babes in Arms". As much as they repressed, contained and restrained, I oozed out between their fingers. I tried, I really did, to be demure, and coy, and a Lady. Oh how I grew to hate that lady word. "A lady doesn't laugh out loud, a lady titters. A lady does not draw attention to herself. A lady doesn't wear hoop earrings and red nail polish. I can assure you that right now, any of my friends reading this are laughing. Cause, it obviously didn't work.
As soon as I got out on my own, went to college (BRAT class of '87) and met people who had no clue who I was or how I should be, I was me. I wore lots of makeup, (still do), I wore tight clothes, (still do), I laughed out loud (oh boy do I) and relaxed into who I was. Still do.
I am loud, and broad, and coarse, and often rude, and do not mind one bit drawing attention to myself, and, and, and.... I am ALSO kind, and caring, and wise, and beautiful, and talented, and passionate, and more than a little dirty. I know all of these things about myself. Came to grips with them a LONG time ago. And I don't mind at all if I am not your cup of tea. I don't have to be. Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one, and that is how it should be. The only person I have to be alright with is me. Like me or lump me, I AM me. And I am OK with that.