Let me tell you right now, I would lose my friggin mind. Even on my darkest days, I have always found something to giggle about. Sometimes laughter is the only thing that works. And often it is a case of, if I didn't laugh I'd cry.
Laughter when you are by yourself is one thing. A chuckle or guffaw at something observed or read, or heard. But laughing with someone else, sharing that bond, is an act of intimacy. And I am guessing that a lack, or loss of intimacy is what takes away the laughter. I understand how the hurdles and pitfalls life throws at us can certainly cause resentment and irritation and bitterness, but I think I would rather live in a sexless marriage/relationship, than one without laughter and intimacy. ANd believe me, that is saying something! My friends are throwing down the "bullshit" flag, I assure you. But c'mon, think about it. To never be able to make eye contact with your partner and share a smirk or giggle over an inside joke? Or to be caught in a disaster and not being able to look at the person who "gets it" and you laugh, cause you know, after all these years, this too shall pass? The wear and tear of the tension that is life. would cause me to literally have a breakdown. And I know, cause I have had one. And I didn't like it. Not a bit. An actual breakdown is a HARD hole to dig yourself out of. I don't recommend it.
And come to think of it, it doesn't have to be a spouse, it can be a close friend you laugh with...about your spouse. ANYTHING to break that tension. Cause people are people, and two people that form a family base may be partners, but they are still two separate people, raised in two different families, in two separate and possibly very different circumstances. That, in and of itself can lead to tension and conflict. It is the way of human nature. And if you can still share that laugh, that bond, I think that may be the key.
Our issues, in my own personal situation, are mostly about money, or lack thereof. It is like chinese water torture sometimes. But still we can laugh. I think laughter leaving is often the first sign of that spiral into seperateness. But it doesn't have to be money. It can be illness, or issues with children going through their own self-trauma, or work, or anything really. But we all need, as human beings, the ability to shed the piles of strife, angst, and worry that often fall on us like leaves in autumn. I am big into visualization, and I just have this image in my head of being stuck under a big pile of wet, musty leaves and standing up into the sunshine, laughing. I kinda see it like that. Those leaves will eventually rot away and disappear, and be nothing. And they will return, new leaves, piling on us, year after year, situation after situation. That's just the way it is. But the important thing is to shed them off you, stand up into the warm sunshine, and LAUGH. And please God, I hope there is someone, anyone, there holding your hand while you do it.